Spring Break! And pre-Easter wonderfulness....

It's spring break around here, but you wouldn't know by the weather. We had snow all day. It looks like next week will be better.

I was able to bring in the Easter season in an amazing way, though. Hubby and I saw a performance of Rob Gardner's Lamb of God. Amazing. I left in tears and the lump in my throat lingered for a while. It was really powerful. And also great because I got to support my dad, who sang in the choir. Someday I hope to be able to participate myself. I miss singing.

Here are some videos that can give you a glimpse. But I'll tell you, there is nothing like hearing music like this live. The choir was at least double the usual 60, and the acoustics were amazing. And I don't know that I've ever heard such angelic sopranos.

Themes in the April 2011 General Conference

This weekend was General Conference weekend for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I absolutely love Conference weekend. At the end of the two days, I found myself feeling sad...sort of like you can feel with post-Christmas letdown. Conference is like Christmas around here -- we anticipate it for weeks, we savor spending time together as a family, we eat fun food, we stop regular life for a couple of days, and we wish it could last longer. (My children always yell "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" as the last session ends.)

And it's another time to focus on and renew our faith in Jesus Christ and in our Heavenly Father's eternal plan for His children. It's a time when we seek to feel God's Holy Spirit in our hearts to help us refocus on what matters most.

Whenever I listen to General Conference, I like to look for themes. I'm reminded of what Elder Neil L. Andersen said last April in General Conference:

There are no assigned subjects, no collaboration of themes. The Lord’s way, of course, is always the best way. He takes the individual prayerful efforts of each speaker and orchestrates a spiritual symphony full of revelation and power. Repeated themes, principle building upon principle, prophetic warnings, uplifting promises—the divine harmony is a miracle! I testify that in this conference we have heard and felt the mind and will of the Lord.

I still want to mull over all the messages a little more (and given my weird sleep issues, I still have a couple of messages to listen to that I missed while sleeping). But here are some themes I noticed [edited to add that I'll be editing this list as I think of other themes]:

-The healing power of Christ
-Helping the poor and needy / Giving service
-The centrality of marriage and family in Mormon doctrine
-Life is a test
-Discipleship takes work, discipline, commitment, willingness to sacrifice, willingness to change/grow/receive (and even seek) correction
-We believe in angels
-Doing vs. becoming
-Small and simple things
-Revelation and personal testimony/answers

What did you notice? What talks stood out to you?

The Illusion of Control and the Need for Spiritual Preparation

As human beings, we work hard to be in control. We plan our schedules and our lives, we save our money for a rainy day. We (try to) exercise regularly eat our fruits and vegetables to maximize health and prevent disease. We wear our seat belts. And the list can go on.... We do myriad things because we believe they can protect us from harm, prolong our lives, reduce our pain.

And sometimes, they can.

But sometimes, nothing we do can protect us from horrible, painful, difficult things that can and do happen. The recent events in Japan are a deeply sobering reminder of that fact.

It's unnerving to realize that at any given moment, any number of things could change -- or end -- our lives.

As such, it's easy to feel fear. I know it is for me, anyway.

How grateful I am for my faith in such times -- reminding me that there is a purpose to life, and it goes beyond temporal, temporary protection and comfort. Opposition and trials and even death are part of a larger plan of God for our growth and salvation.

I don't mean in any way to minimize the horror of things like this tragedy in Japan. We should never stop caring about the proximate problems that face us, never stop seeking to serve those in need, never stop doing our part to do good and make our world better. But in the midst of all of this, I think it's important to remember our mortal limitations and remember our ultimate reliance on God. For me, times like this are times to regroup and assess my spiritual storehouse and preparations for whatever life may throw my way.

I love this from President Henry B. Eyring:

“Most of us have thought about how to prepare for storms. We have seen and felt the suffering of women, men, and children, and of the aged and the weak, caught in hurricanes, tsunamis, wars, and droughts. One reaction is to ask, ‘How can I be prepared?’

“And there is a rush to buy and put away whatever people think they might need for the day they might face such calamities.

“But there is another even more important preparation we must make for tests that are certain to come to each of us. That preparation must be started far in advance because it takes time. What we will need then can’t be bought. It can’t be borrowed. It doesn’t store well. And it has to have been used regularly and recently.

“What we will need in our day of testing is a spiritual preparation. It is to have developed faith in Jesus Christ so powerful that we can pass the test of life upon which everything for us in eternity depends. That test is part of the purpose God had for us in the Creation.”

Close to the surface

Had an amazing evening Thursday. Don't have time to explain much, but I talked to a couple of women after a dinner/speaker meeting I attended. One was a mom of seven and the other was a mom of five. A mom of eight came up a few minutes later.

We were talking about what a blessing it is to have children, to be mothers. I was so grateful to feel of their spirits and their faith.

And I shared with them, as is not uncommon for me, about how we have wanted more children but haven't been able to because of my health. (I don't feel like there is any benefit in holding that close to my chest -- I think we can benefit from sharing a little of our hearts and lives as women, and I also want people to know where my heart is on this. It pre-empts the comments like "Oh, yes, three is the new six.")

I still am mourning that reality. Tears were welling in my eyes as we talked. They were so kind and gentle and encouraging and I'm grateful. It's wonderful to me that perfect strangers can be such good sisters in a moment like that.

It's hard to have that ache and not be able to fill it.

I know it's not the same as infertility. I know I'm incredibly blessed to have the three I have. But that doesn't take away the reality of the longing I still feel.

I take comfort in this comment from Sister Beck. (Again, I know my situation is not the same as those couples who are infertile or those women who aren't yet married and have a double-whammy ache in their hearts. But this still helps my sometimes-aching heart.)

I know of many couples who desire to have children and aren’t given that blessing. Their challenge is the challenge of not having children, and we need to be listening and supportive and encouraging toward them. And I also believe that the desire to have children in the single sisters and in these couples probably won’t go away if they’re righteous, because that is a God-given desire. It speaks to their very natures and the training they received in the heavens. So that longing will not go away. But the Lord will bless them.

Coming up for air...

...but only for a moment.

This was my Friday:

Up at 12:15 (for those who don't know, I have chronic fatigue and insomnia -- not a good combination! I compensate (read: survive) by sleeping until lunchtime or later).

Appointment at 1:00 p.m. (I have an awesome therapist who's helped me deal with said health issues. Seriously, she's been an angel in my life.)

Return shirt at Costco on the way home. Do errands at Costco. Stand in line to cash rebate check. Give up on cashing rebate check because line was too long.

Drop off Costco schtuff at home. Talk to neighbor while doing so, who called to say she would pick up the children. During conversation, we realize that it's better for me to do so, so I scramble to do so.

Appointment at 4:00. Foot doc this time, with #3. (We were late. Note to self: Don't set appointments so close to after-school time.)

Run into grocery store on the way home to pick up dressing for salad for high priest group dinner.

Veg for 10 minutes (which was 10 minutes too long) watching what the kids were watching to take a breath before the dinner.

Make dinner for the kidlets, make salad for our dinner. Run to dinner. Have a great time at dinner. Get call from #3 at dinner to get us to skedaddle home for piano recital.

8:00 recital.

8:45 get children to bed.

Whew.

Last nite, we had a busy day, but then just hung out at home together, which was lovely. Tonite, it was Grandma's. And tomorrow should be fairly 'normal.' But then it'll be back to really busy this week.

So...here we go!

Extracurricular Activities

Tonite, the chillens had a piano recital. Short and sweet, just like I like 'em. But I am proud of how they are progressing. It was fun to watch them play. I was especially happy to see how well #3 did. She's been a bit stressed about piano lately, and I thought she hit the ball out of the park tonite.

I am of the opinion that extra-curriculars need to be carefully monitored and controlled so as not to take over too much of our family's life. Piano, however, is for us a required thing. We both feel strongly that having some musical training can enrich one's life and also enable one to be able to serve others. I also just know too many people who regret quitting piano when they were young.

Of course, if we felt inspired to do something differently, we would, but that is currently our modus operandus.

Not long ago, I asked our Young Men leader about advice he would give to the parents of youth. His response interested me. He said he wished more parents understood that sports or other extracurricular activities have taken over so much of the young men's time than many don't participate fully in the youth programs. And then he said something that has really stuck with me, which is that spiritual growth that can come from the Church's programs can't be found in the same way through sports or other activities. Yes, discipline can be learned, but there are things that can be missed.

I also think about the counsel from Mormon Church leaders on these things. For example, consider this from Elder Oaks:

The amount of children-and-parent time absorbed in the good activities of private lessons, team sports, and other school and club activities also needs to be carefully regulated. Otherwise, children will be overscheduled, and parents will be frazzled and frustrated. Parents should act to preserve time for family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and the other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth. Parents should teach gospel priorities through what they do with their children.
Family experts have warned against what they call “the overscheduling of children.” In the last generation children are far busier and families spend far less time together. [See the full talk, "Good, Better, Best" for some sobering statistics]

The flip side of this is that there are statistics that say that teens who are involved with extracurricular activities have higher levels of self-esteem. And I can speak from personal experience that being involved in sports in junior high was something that helped me through a very difficult time in my life. I don't want to swing too far to the conservative side of things and have my children miss out on some important opportunities or experiences. I really think that ultimately inspiration from God is the answer, but I'm always interested in others' thoughts on topics like this.

So, what say ye? How do you find the balance between giving children opportunities and keeping priorities and family life intact?

High Priests' Group Social

I love being with the people in my ward congregation. I am missing them a lot right now because I'm currently attending a ward that meets later in the day. (My health problems make mornings very difficult, so I got permission to attend another ward.)

So I was glad to get together with many of them last night at our ward's high priest social. We ate a yummy dinner and then played a game around our tables. Each of us wrote a "little known fact" about ourselves, and then people at the table tried to guess who wrote what.

I wrote about making 24 points in a school basketball game when I was a teenager. (What would you have shared?) At the end of the evening, each table shared what everyone said. It was both interesting and amusing to hear what people chose to share. I think my favorite was one of the women who said that she once raised ticks and had the largest tick colony in the nation. (I can't remember why she did that, but it stuck in my mind.) I also remember the story of the man who was scuba diving at night and had an electric eel charge him and knock the mask off his face. This was the same man who was nearly crushed while working on his '59 whatever-it-was. His brother heard his screams for help and lifted the car enough for him to get out from under it.

Anyway, I'm grateful for good friends and for opportunities to "hang out" with some of them at activities like this.