On Multiplying and Replenishing: A compilation of counsel

(Note: It was recently brought to my attention that compilations of quotes such as I had could be violating copyright laws. Therefore, I have taken down most of the quotes and left the links of the talks where the quotes were found.)

Over the past several years, in many different settings, I have had some interesting discussions about the topic of birth control and/or the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. (Note that these are not necessarily the same topic!) Over the past hundred years, and even in my lifetime, we have seen some difference in the way these topics are addressed. In particular, we rarely hear anything specifically about birth control per se. We also hear that the decisions about family size and planning are personal, between a couple and the Lord.

I want to suggest that even as specific directives related to birth control might not be as plentiful as they used to be, the doctrine related to the commandment to multiply and replenish has basically remained the same through the course of the past century. Our leaders have never stopped talking about the importance of having children and how "multiply and replenish" is a commandment, part of our covenant responsibility. They have repeatedly expressed concern about the ways the adversary is undermining the family, including falling birth rates and changing attitudes about having children. They have also talked about the blessings that come from having children, and also the consequences (both on a general and individual level) when the plan is not followed as designed and taught. I think a lot of these concerns were those that underpinned past teachings by Church leaders as well.

I think our leaders leave it up to us to listen carefully and prayerfully consider their counsel and concerns. I see a lot of teaching correct principles and trusting us to govern ourselves. We are not "command[ed] in all things" with regard to specifics (the "how"), and we shouldn't expect to be. But we are taught repeatedly about the "what" and "why." I believe the Lord wants married couples to learn to have ears to hear and discern truth in prophetic and scriptural counsel, and to then work together and with Him to make specific decisions. (This process obviously would apply to individuals as well with most other topics.) Therefore, our leaders have given us general counsel and direction and it is up to each couple to prayerfully consider what to do about that counsel. Paraphrasing President Packer, "True doctrine, understood" is what ultimately influences and "changes behavior."

Let me be clear that I firmly believe that God will not simply play a headcount game in the judgment day; rather, I believe He will consider our hearts, motives, desires, and priorities. Counsel about multiplying and replenishing is not simply about family size or headcount, because there are factors (such as fertility issues or health problems) that can sometimes be outside of our control and affect our ability to choose how or when children come. When prophets speak of those who, through no fault of their own, will receive the fulness of God's blessings, they not only speak to those who don't have the chance to marry and have children, but also to those who face physical or other limitations that limit the number of children they can have, even as they wish they could have more. The Atonement can cover what we cannot do if our desires and hearts are in line with the commandments we have been given. (On a personal note, as someone who, because of health issues (and after prayer and fasting) has (with her husband) felt that she should not at this point have more children, I find this to be extremely comforting. I keep hoping my situation will change, but....)

I also believe that part of the purpose of life is to learn how to exercise our agency for good and for God's glory. As such, it is imperative that we remember that no one can decide specifically for another what the "right approach" is to implementing prophetic and scriptural counsel. We cannot tell someone else when to have children or how many to have. All we can do is consider the counsel and the principles together.

Therefore, the purpose of this post is basically to review counsel that has been given in a variety of contexts by a variety of leaders. The post also includes general information from the Church website and/or Church manuals and other materials. I have sought to include only counsel given during the past 15 years from those leaders who are currently living (and/or similarly current statements in our magazines and manuals, and on the website). I do this both because this will be long enough as it is (!!) and also because I'm interested in what is being said in our time by our current leaders, even though there has been much doctrinal consistency throughout the decades with the ideas discussed herein. The exception to this approach will be when current materials such as manuals or talks quote earlier statements, which in essences bring earlier statements to a place of current relevance.

As you review these things, I think that Elder Eyring's counsel is worth keeping in mind:

"In our own time, we have been warned with counsel of where to find safety from sin and from sorrow. One of the keys to recognizing those warnings is that they are repeated. For instance, more than once in these general conferences, you have heard our prophet say that he would quote a preceding prophet and would therefore be a second witness and sometimes even a third.... The Apostle Paul wrote that “in the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established” (2 Cor. 13:1). One of the ways we may know that the warning is from the Lord is that the law of witnesses, authorized witnesses, has been invoked. When the words of prophets seem repetitive, that should rivet our attention and fill our hearts with gratitude to live in such a blessed time" (emphasis added).

Note that some of the following counsel deals directly and specifically with the commandment to multiply and replenish, other counsel deals with concerning trends, and still other counsel was included (e.g., on covenants, the adversary's efforts to undermine God's plan, on decision-making) because I think it could be applicable to the topics at hand. (I have noticed that often there are gems of wisdom and insight embedded in a talk that appears to be on one topic but also teaches about other topics as well. I'm sure there are plenty of these types of statements that I didn't find.)

Oh, and did you note the warning that this will be LONG? I've tried to organize in a way that makes the post visually accessible so you can skim and skip as desired, but there is only so much I could do. I wanted this to be fairly comprehensive. (That said, I'm sure I have missed quotes; I finally reached a point where I needed to just post this! If you find one missing, please let me know.)

I'll begin with some general information as given in Church resources, not specifically tied to any particular leader.

(One last thing: A request for this post is not to shoot the messenger. If you don't like what is said here, don't take it up with me, and don't make any attacks on the leaders or the Church. Remember, in the end, this issue is between you and your spouse and the Lord so take it up with Him. :) This post is also not intended to send someone into a tizzy of guilt (to which I am personally prone); again, it's a topic that in the end can only be fully explored with one's spouse and with the Lord. The compilation of counsel is meant to be as an aid in that process.)

General Information
First of all, let's just consider what one would find if searching in the index of topics on lds.org on the topic of birth control.

Some similar concepts are discussed in the True to the Faith entry on birth control.

Note again the emphasis on doctrine that can help couples prepare to make appropriate decisions about family planning.

In an Ensign article on this topic, we read:

Bringing children into the world is certainly not convenient. Most often it involves physical pain followed by great sacrifice and selflessness. But the blessings of keeping God’s command to rear children are some of the sweetest blessings He offers. Indeed, in many ways parenthood gives us a foretaste of godhoo

Marriage and Family Relations study guide (copyright 2000):

(From a talk by Elder Boyd K. Packer.


From the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve:

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Note the preface that President Gordon B. Hinckley gave when he read the Proclamation for the first time.

President Hinckley said: “Of all the joys of life, none other equals that of happy parenthood. Of all the responsibilities with which we struggle, none other is so serious. To rear children in an atmosphere of love, security, and faith is the most rewarding of all challenges. The good result from such efforts becomes life’s most satisfying compensation” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1994, 74; or Ensign, Nov. 1994, 54).

President Hinckley, as quoted by Elder Oaks (original talk by Pres. Hinckley is: “If I Were You, What Would I Do?” Brigham Young University 1983–84 Fireside and Devotional Speeches, Provo, Utah: University Publications, 1984, p. 11). [In his quote, there is the trust and tone that I think our leaders in general have taken. They focus on the doctrine and trust that we will prayerfully ask the Lord how He would have us implement that doctrine.]

President Gordon B. Hinckley: "You have nothing in this world more precious than your children."

President Thomas S. Monson: "No sacrifice is too great, no pain too severe, no waiting too long....
It is our solemn duty, our precious privilege—even our sacred opportunity—to welcome to our homes and to our hearts the children who grace our lives."

President James E. Faust was quoted in this article about concerning trends.

President James E. Faust talks about his views on attitudes that some have that we need to control the population to save the earth.

President James E. Faust talks of the happiness that comes from marriage and parenthood.

President James E. Faust talks about how parenthood is a covenantal responsibility.

President James E. Faust talks about decision-making and serving the Lord with our decisions.

President James E. Faust talks about being co-creators with God.

President James E. Faust speaks again on covenants.

President Boyd K. Packer: "Do not be afraid to bring children into the world. We are under covenant to provide physical bodies so that spirits may enter mortality (see Gen. 1:28; Moses 2:28). Children are the future of the restored Church."

President Boyd K. Packer speaks on the importance of parenthood.

President Boyd K. Packer said that the words in the Proclamation on this subject have "taken on the status of scripture." He also expresses concern about trends such as declining birthrates and how such trends bring consequences. Here he talks of the consequences to the Lord's work. He also mentions that having children is the "paramount purpose" of marriage.


Pres. Boyd K. Packer talks about how we shouldn't have to ask what the Church's position is on this topic and others.

President Boyd K. Packer talks about how marriage and parenthood are key to receiving the fulness of joy mentioned in the scriptures (he lists the following: 2 Ne. 2:25; 2 Ne. 9:18; D&C 11:13; D&C 42:61; D&C 101:36).

Elder Boyd K. Packer talks about how having children is a key part of the great plan of happiness, and that they must speak about this plan in boldness even when not everyone's life fits the ideal. (FYI, in this talk, he mentions contraception.) He also speaks of teaching rules, not exceptions.


Elder L. Tom Perry: "Families lie at the center of our Heavenly Father’s plan."

Elder L. Tom Perry

Elder Russell M. Nelson talks of how the adversary seeks to undermine parenthood.

Elder Russell M. Nelson talks about priorities, about faith in our family life, and that bringing children to the world is heeding prophetic counsel -- and brings great blessings! He also speaks about concerning social trends such as declining birth rates.

Elder Russell M. Nelson (this is a little older, but to me reflects the
recognition that we can receive personal revelation about how to obey the
commandment>.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks: To the first man and woman on earth, the Lord said, “Be fruitful, and multiply” (Moses 2:28; see also Gen. 1:28; Abr. 4:28). This commandment was first in sequence and first in importance. It was essential that God’s spirit children have mortal birth and an opportunity to progress toward eternal life. Consequently, all things related to procreation are prime targets for the adversary’s efforts to thwart the plan of God.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks speaks on priorities and putting God's work first, which includes the "birth, nurturing, teaching, and sealing of our Heavenly Father’s children. Everything else is lower in priority." We should consider the eternal impact of the decisions we make.


Elder Dallin H. Oaks talks of laying up treasures in heaven, our children and posterity. He also quotes Pres. Kimball who said, “It is an act of extreme selfishness for a married couple to refuse to have children when they are able to do so” (Ensign, May 1979, p. 6). We should have as many children as we can care for (in every way).

Elder Dallin H. Oaks gives his talk about the importance of making life decisions. He quotes Elder Earl C. Tingey who talks of concerning social trends, and Elder Oaks speaks of these himself, talking of the adversary's opposition to the plan.

[In this address, not fully reprinted in the Ensign, Elder Oaks also mentioned Elder Nelson's talk on "Faith and Families" which is linked above. He mentioned particularly the fact that he and his wife followed prophetic counsel to have [five!] children even while he was pursuing his extensive education. He also mentioned that talks prepared under the inspiration of the Spirit and given by our leaders are not to be "enjoyed" but to "inspire, edify, challenge, or direct." We should not "trifle" with the words spoken but should open our ears to hear, as King Benjamin counseled (Mosiah 2:9). He also reiterated what has been said before about prophets teaching the general rule, not the exception. I think all of these concepts are relevant to this post.]

Elder M. Russell Ballard talks of how the Proclamation came in the midst of concern that the Brethren had for the many ways the family was being attacked. The Proclamation was created through the divinely-inspired council system. He also reminds us that "the family is the basic unit of eternity." He expresses the concern that marriage is too often seen as a relationship for adults, not an "institution for rearing children. Children are considered a choice rather than a blessing."


Elder M. Russell Ballard says that the main purpose of the earth is so children can come and progress and the commandment to multiply and replenish is still in force.

Elder Richard G. Scott says that we have the responsibility to bear and raise children as part of the plan. Study Adam and Eve to see how they lived according to the plan, even when it was difficult.

Elder Robert D. Hales says that Satan attacks the family and discourages childbearing as one of our highest priorities in marriage.

Elder Henry B. Eyring talks of the commandment to multiply and replenish and disagrees with theories that concerns about poverty overpopulation are not a reason to not have children.

Elder David A. Bednar talks of the plan and the commandment to multiply and replenish.

From Seventies and other General Leaders (in no particular order):

Elder Merrill J. Bateman gave a powerful talk about the important years between ages 18-30 and how decisions we make during those years can affect us eternally. He spoke particularly of the gift of procreation and how whether or not that gift will rise with us in the resurrection depends on how we receive and exercise that gift on earth.

Elder Douglas W. Shumway talks of the adversary's attacks on the family, including encouraging couples to avoid parenthood.

Elder Charles Didier: A key purpose of marriage is procreation, key to the plan.

Elder F. Burton Howard says that we are one with the Creator when we fulfill the commandment to multiply and replenish.

Sister Susan Tanner says that many miss the blessing of parenthood by seeing it as an inconvenience.

Elder L. Aldin Porter talks about the sacred doctrines in the Proclamation and how they should be carefully considered as we build our homes and families (and/or as we seek marriage companions). He talks of the world's trends to see parenthood as a barrier to personal fulfillment. The Proclamation teaches us otherwise.

Elder J. Ballard Washburn says that the covenant of marriage includes a willingness to have children. As a doctor, he expresses concern about "false doctrines of the world" that could cause us to break covenants. (Here he basically spoke against deliberately limiting families.)

Elder Ben B. Banks: We cannot overemphasize the importance of parenthood and the family.

Other places for more quotes, from our manuals:

Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: David O. McKay

Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Wilford Woodruff

Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Heber J. Grant

Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith

Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: John Taylor

Kieth Merrill's Commencement Speech

I thought some of you might enjoy this. I especially loved his story about winning an Oscar and the mists of darkness that emerged as a result. His actions upon coming to himself are meaningful.

Anyway, enjoy! :)

Follow-up to "The Mormons"

Apparently, in Utah on KUED and KBYU, there will be an hour-long program on Friday night at 8:00 MDT. Apparently, there will be a panel including people from BYU and the University of Utah. You can find out more about it here.

This news story also contains a reaction from Elder Jensen, speaking about how the Church leaders feel about the program.

If only we could have heard more from Elder Holland....

I haven't read any of the other interviews yet, but Elder Holland, in his usual warm and articulate and yet forthright way, really gave a great interview. You can read it here. Too bad more of his words weren't included. Polygamy, historical folklore (especially as relating to blacks and the priesthood), homosexuality....he addresses tough issues with finesse. He also bears bold testimony along the way and explains the price of membership very well -- all with classic Elder Holland big-heartedness.

What to do about "The Mormons"

I liked this thoughtful review on the PBS documentary, with some worthwhile suggestions about the opportunity this provides us to help others understand us. (Update: The link has several comments from Church spokesperson Michael Otterson.)

Criticism of Church Leaders: Is it ever a good thing? (updated)

This was supposed to be a response to a recent comment on my blog, but got far too long, so I'm pulling it out as a separate post. Please withhold judgment on the post until you have read the whole thing. I think Elder Oaks gives us some really, really good insight on how we truly can make a positive difference in the Church.

p.s. This is one of those posts that deals with the "rule" not the exception. I know some people have their horror stories about leaders, but I think there is value in focusing on the rule, not the exception. And, you will note that Elder Oaks gives guidance about how to deal with potential problems or differences that can arise, so this isn't just a post about blind following 100% of the time. Again, it contains wise counsel about how to deal with differences in an appropriate way. Lastly, I think there are different viewpoints out there of what "criticism" means. I sense that Elder Oaks' use of the word as truly speaking evil of a leader, truly (and publicly) criticizing him/her. I think it's possible that there might be a different word he would use for "feedback." I think I can believe in the value of feedback without upholding criticism as acceptable.

I submit that there may be more than meets the eye on the issue of criticism and why it is discouraged in the Church. There is more to consider than just the process of "There is an idea out there that somehow our leaders will benefit from our criticism, but there is more to consider. Elder Oaks spoke clearly on this:

I have given the following counsel to Church members—those who have committed themselves by upraised hands to sustain their church leaders:

“Criticism is particularly objectionable when it is directed toward Church authorities, general or local. Jude condemns those who ‘speak evil of dignities.’ (Jude 1:8.) Evil speaking of the Lord’s anointed is in a class by itself. It is one thing to depreciate a person who exercises corporate power or even government power. It is quite another thing to criticize or depreciate a person for the performance of an office to which he or she has been called of God. It does not matter that the criticism is true. As Elder George F. Richards, President of the Council of the Twelve, said in a conference address in April 1947,

“ ‘When we say anything bad about the leaders of the Church, whether true or false, we tend to impair their influence and their usefulness and are thus working against the Lord and his cause.’ (In Conference Report, Apr. 1947, p. 24.)” (Address to Church Educational System teachers, Aug. 16, 1985.)...

The counsel against speaking evil of Church leaders is not so much for the benefit of the leaders as it is for the spiritual well-being of members who are prone to murmur and find fault. The Church leaders I know are durable people. They made their way successfully in a world of unrestrained criticism before they received their current callings. They have no personal need for protection; they seek no personal immunities from criticism—constructive or destructive. They only seek to declare what they understand to be the word of the Lord to his people.

Everyone will obviously take his or her own approach, but I think Elder Oaks' counsel is really significant. I have found that I don't feel the Spirit with me as much when I have a critical spirit. Of course that applies to criticism of anyone, but I feel it's particularly offensive to the Spirit when I criticize those whom I sustain and who are called of God. It affects my spirituality, without question. When I trust them, even when I don't agree or don't understand, there is a power, a confidence, that comes into my life. It becomes an anchor that makes a tremendous difference for me personally, for my family. I believe MORE good would come about in the Church if there was more sustaining of and following our leaders -- not because we think they are always right, but because we believe that sustaining them is right. Perhaps they don't need our feedback as much as they need our hearts. (Does this mean I think that everyone who ever says anything against them is an apostate? No. But I believe this is something that can and would make a difference at the individual, familial and institutional levels.)

I am particularly struck by Elder Oaks' comment that it doesn't matter if what we say is true; criticism of church leaders is always a negative.

But does that mean that feedback can never be shared, or that there aren't things to do when there really is an thought about something that can be improved? NO. Elder Oaks continues to help us understand the characteristics of appropriate behavior and how we handle differences in the Church:

Our Father in Heaven has not compelled us to think the same way on every subject or procedure. [This isn't about being cookie cuttered people, or blind followers!] As we seek to accomplish our life’s purposes, we will inevitably have differences with those around us—including some of those we sustain as our leaders. The question is not whether we have such differences, but how we manage them. [Emphasis mine.] What the Lord has said on another subject is also true of the management of differences with his leaders: “It must needs be done in mine own way.” [I think this is so significant!] (D&C 104:16.) We should conduct ourselves in such a way that our thoughts and actions do not cause us to lose the companionship of the Spirit of the Lord.

The first principle in the gospel procedure for managing differences is to keep our personal differences private. In this we have worthy examples to follow. Every student of Church history knows that there have been differences of opinion among Church leaders since the Church was organized. Each of us has experienced such differences in our work in auxiliaries, quorums, wards, stakes, and missions of the Church. We know that such differences are discussed, but not in public. Counselors acquiesce in the decisions of their president. Teachers follow the direction of their presidency. Members are loyal to the counsel of their bishop. All of this is done quietly and loyally—even by members who would have done differently if they had been in the position of authority.

Why aren’t these differences discussed in public? Public debate—the means of resolving differences in a democratic government—is not appropriate in our Church government. We are all subject to the authority of the called and sustained servants of the Lord. They and we are all governed by the direction of the Spirit of the Lord, and that Spirit only functions in an atmosphere of unity. That is why personal differences about Church doctrine or procedure need to be worked out privately. There is nothing inappropriate about private communications concerning such differences, provided they are carried on in a spirit of love."

Sustaining our leaders doesn't mean we won't have differences of opinion, but it does mean we will seek to handle those differences in the Lord's way.

Elder Oaks then lists five options we have:
1. Overlook the difference
2. Reserve judgment and postpone action, in a spirit of patience and trust [I like to use the phrase "benefit of the doubt"]
3. Take up differences privately with the leader (in a private meeting or a letter or other correspondence)
4. In cases of alleged wrong behavior, communicate with the person who is in a position could correct the offending party if that is needed (e.g., talk to a Stake President for issues with a bishop, etc.)
5. Pray. Pray that the Lord can correct the situation and pray for ourselves to discern if we are truly correct in our point of view.

Today's world is full of the idea that we are somehow obligated (and/or entitled) to voice our opinions: we protest, we write public letters to the editor, we rant and rave, we debate issues online, etc. etc. etc. But the Lord asks us to handle problems or perceived problems in the Church differently -- for the benefit of His work and also for our own benefit. This doesn't preclude the potential for feedback, but, can help prevent the spirit of contention, pride and unnecessary criticism from entering the situation, and keep us more open to the influence of the Spirit.

Cheney and Criticism; Panel Discussion on Cheney and the War

There's a story on BYU's newsnet site that talks about a Q&A with Pres. Samuelson that was recently held. Not surprisingly, the topic of Cheney's visit came up, directly and indirectly. I was interested in the following:

One question prompted President Samuelson to clarify the appropriateness of criticizing university decisions.

Students commit, by signing the Honor Code, not to criticize those we sustain as prophets, seers and revelators, he said. But, he further explained, this doesn't mean students can't disagree with the administration.

"I think you need to understand that you can criticize the administration; that does happen regularly," he said.

Draw your own conclusions on that.

As an FYI, another story I read today says that there will be a panel discussion on Monday on “Vice President Cheney and the Global War on Terror” in the Varsity Theater from 2 to 3:30 p.m. The public is invited to attend if interested.

The story I read says the following:

Each panelist will present a short statement, to be followed by panel discussion. After the panel speaks, the floor will be open for audience questions.

Jeff Ringer, director of the David M. Kennedy Center, will moderate the panel. Joining him will be Darren G. Hawkins, international relations coordinator; Donna Lee Bowen, Middle East Studies/Arabic coordinator; Ralph C. Hancock; and Scott Cooper.