The Lonely Road

When you think of President Hinckley, what do you think of? I think of a lot of things, but one is his optimism.

That makes a verse in the hymn he wrote all the more interesting to me.

Oh, give me thy sweet Spirit still,
The peace that comes alone from thee,
The faith to walk the lonely road
That leads to thine eternity.

The lonely road.

Truth be told, the walk of faith can be a lonely road. It's not because we don't have people on the path with us, but no one can walk that path for us.

A friend and I were talking about schtuff recently, and she mentioned an insight she had had, one I have been mulling over ever since.

She talked of a friend of hers who, when facing the same trial my friend had faced, had received an answer for what to do that was 180 degrees different from my friend's answer.

My friend then noted (paraphrasing):

"In the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord talks of the parable of the ten virgins and about the last days. It is the people who have taken the Holy Spirit as their guide who will be able to survive these difficult times. Perhaps the oil that is talked about is not just about testimony, but about learning to really get answers through the Spirit. Maybe that's another reason the oil cannot be shared -- because we each have to learn to get the answers from God that will be for our specific circumstances, and that will be one of the only ways we can survive these last days."

That resonated with me.

This process of really getting answers -- answers that may not appear in the Ensign or be shared in a Conference talk -- describes what some of the last year has included for me. Truth be told, it has been one of the most difficult and lonely years of my life.

But it's also been one of the most amazing.

I have had experiences with the Spirit that have given me more confidence in my relationship with my Heavenly Father, and even in myself -- in learning to trust that, with Him, I can figure out what is right for me in my life.

My journey simply won't be completely like anyone else's. For a long time, I looked around me for all the answers. I was worried when my life didn't match someone else's. I'm learning to look to the side less and to instead look up.

For all that we have amazing gospel truths to cling to -- and in talking about individual answers I am not talking about dismissing any of those truths or principles -- each of us still has to figure out how to apply those truths to our lives.

For all that we have family and friends, not even those closest to us (not even spouses, if we are married) can receive all the revelation with us that we need to walk the path of life and discipleship.

The lonely road.

I know God is there. The Church is true. The Book of Mormon is true. The Atonement is real (thank heaven!) I know amazing people who enrich my life in unspeakable ways.

But, still, I pray:

Oh, give me thy sweet Spirit still,
The peace that comes alone from thee,
The faith to walk the lonely road
That leads to thine eternity.