Saturday, January 23, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Finding Calm in the Commotion
Haiti. It's on all of our minds, and for most of us, it's in a helpless sort of way. We're too far away, without the time or means to really make more than the tiniest dent by sending a meager offering somewhere. And praying. Oh, yes, we are praying.
I'm also pondering. A lot. Pondering how it is that I should even be able to continue my day-to-day life of getting children from here to there, doing dishes (I own dishes -- I feel guilty about owning dishes and having food to put on them!), doing laundry (I own clothing! Nevermind my turbo washing machine!), looking at the bathrooms that need to be cleaned (I have more than one bathroom! In my house! With running water!). Speaking of water, I can get a drink of clean water, for crying out loud. Anytime I want to, from a faucet in my kitchen (or my bathroom(s)). (At least for now. Is anyone else feeling a little bit of fear?)
You know what I mean. Right?
And yet, I think of the scriptures that tell us that in these last days as we prepare for the Lord's second coming, things will both be in commotion and yet also continue to be normal -- people "marrying and given and marriage" and all of that. And I can't help but feel this tragedy in Haiti is a little example of what that means. I know that the Lord expects me to pray and weep and mourn for those who mourn, and to do what I can to help relief suffering of the poor and needy. But I also don't think He expects us all to somehow stop normal life -- if we have it. I think we each at different times will be living the normalish stuff of life, and at other times, be experiencing more of the commotion. And we never know from one minute to the next on which end of the spectrum we might find ourselves. (Again, it's hard not to feel fear even saying that.)
It's all part of this thing we call mortality.
I got an email tonight from a friend who has done service in Haiti. She shared with me the tragic story about her friend who has lost her mother, and possibly her brother. Her mother was buried in the rubble of a hospital after she had re-entered the building to save others. This young college student recently lost a sister in an accident, and now she is facing the heart-wrenching reality of knowing her mother is gone and considering that her brother might be too. And that her country, her home, is in shambles.
It's hard to even process the whys of these things. It's hard to process the breadth and depth of the suffering and grief caused at times like this. The intensity at the individual level is almost more than I can bear (such as when I hear stories like the one sent by my friend), but the collective suffering is really just intolerably overwhelming. And then, to realize that this kind of suffering happens in other ways all over the world, in large- and small-scale ways -- I can't do it. I simply can't go there for more than a millisecond before feeling the weight of it all.
It could consume any of us. And sometimes it might if we let it.
I, with Nephi, know God loves his children, but I know I don't know the meaning of all things. And I know that no pat answer can ever assuage the grief people feel at this time. But one thing that does bring me some measure of peace and perspective is to realize that the breadth and depth of the suffering can remind us of the breadth and depth of the Atonement. Only Christ can eventually make these things fully right. He is the one who was sent to bind our wounds, wipe away our tears, heal the broken-hearted, and swallow up the sting of death.
I will never stop caring, praying, and seeking to find ways to help. I will not turn a blind eye just because the suffering is difficult to process. But in the end, I know of no other way to fully face the devastation and difficulty that life can bring without holding fast to my faith in the Savior. It is my anchor in times of personal and global difficulty.
And I feel myself needing to dig ever deeper to anchor myself more fully in Him.
I'm also pondering. A lot. Pondering how it is that I should even be able to continue my day-to-day life of getting children from here to there, doing dishes (I own dishes -- I feel guilty about owning dishes and having food to put on them!), doing laundry (I own clothing! Nevermind my turbo washing machine!), looking at the bathrooms that need to be cleaned (I have more than one bathroom! In my house! With running water!). Speaking of water, I can get a drink of clean water, for crying out loud. Anytime I want to, from a faucet in my kitchen (or my bathroom(s)). (At least for now. Is anyone else feeling a little bit of fear?)
You know what I mean. Right?
And yet, I think of the scriptures that tell us that in these last days as we prepare for the Lord's second coming, things will both be in commotion and yet also continue to be normal -- people "marrying and given and marriage" and all of that. And I can't help but feel this tragedy in Haiti is a little example of what that means. I know that the Lord expects me to pray and weep and mourn for those who mourn, and to do what I can to help relief suffering of the poor and needy. But I also don't think He expects us all to somehow stop normal life -- if we have it. I think we each at different times will be living the normalish stuff of life, and at other times, be experiencing more of the commotion. And we never know from one minute to the next on which end of the spectrum we might find ourselves. (Again, it's hard not to feel fear even saying that.)
It's all part of this thing we call mortality.
I got an email tonight from a friend who has done service in Haiti. She shared with me the tragic story about her friend who has lost her mother, and possibly her brother. Her mother was buried in the rubble of a hospital after she had re-entered the building to save others. This young college student recently lost a sister in an accident, and now she is facing the heart-wrenching reality of knowing her mother is gone and considering that her brother might be too. And that her country, her home, is in shambles.
It's hard to even process the whys of these things. It's hard to process the breadth and depth of the suffering and grief caused at times like this. The intensity at the individual level is almost more than I can bear (such as when I hear stories like the one sent by my friend), but the collective suffering is really just intolerably overwhelming. And then, to realize that this kind of suffering happens in other ways all over the world, in large- and small-scale ways -- I can't do it. I simply can't go there for more than a millisecond before feeling the weight of it all.
It could consume any of us. And sometimes it might if we let it.
I, with Nephi, know God loves his children, but I know I don't know the meaning of all things. And I know that no pat answer can ever assuage the grief people feel at this time. But one thing that does bring me some measure of peace and perspective is to realize that the breadth and depth of the suffering can remind us of the breadth and depth of the Atonement. Only Christ can eventually make these things fully right. He is the one who was sent to bind our wounds, wipe away our tears, heal the broken-hearted, and swallow up the sting of death.
I will never stop caring, praying, and seeking to find ways to help. I will not turn a blind eye just because the suffering is difficult to process. But in the end, I know of no other way to fully face the devastation and difficulty that life can bring without holding fast to my faith in the Savior. It is my anchor in times of personal and global difficulty.
And I feel myself needing to dig ever deeper to anchor myself more fully in Him.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Moses 1 as another sort of Fall story?
As we sat in Sunday School this past week, I had some thoughts that excited me.
First of all, I love love love the way Moses comes to know who he really is, and how he discerns between the light, love, purity, power, and goodness of God in contrast with the darkness, hate, counterfeit everything, puniness, and evil of the devil.
But Moses still has to work really hard to not succumb to the fear and bitterness that the devil brought into his experience.
And it felt as I pondered the story that there was a progression of how Moses responded, perhaps a mini creation-fall-atonement sort of story...with accompanying insights into how to overcome the influence of the devil (the fall) and progress spiritually.
First, he says, "I can judge between thee and God." I love that. He uses doctrine ("God said unto me: Thou art after the similitude of mine Only Begotten") to stand up to the temptation.
I love, too, how Moses is anxious to get more revelation. He says, "I will not cease to call upon God, I have other things to inquire of him."
Twice he tells Satan to get/depart hence.
But then Satan seems to step it up a notch. Not seems, he does. He rants ("upon the earth" - hm, interesting phrase) and pretends to be Christ. (Makes my skin crawl just writing that.)
And Moses feels great fear, which causes him to see the "bitterness of hell."
It's a good thing that Moses had decided not to cease calling upon God, because it was only that that allowed him to have strength to, again, tell Satan to depart. He overcame the power of fear and had faith strengthened.
But the devil was not about to give up. He trembled, and the earth shook (again, interesting that the text talks about the impact on the earth, not just on Moses). This time, Moses received strength first (hm...) and then, "in the name of the Only Begotten" told Satan to depart.
It feels to me as though, over the course of this interaction, Moses gains more confidence and strength, to the point where he is able, through the power of the Christ and His Atonement -- using the name of Jesus Christ, even -- to overcome the adversary, and come again to a point where he could behold and enjoy the glory, presence, light, and blessings of God.
To me, this story feels a bit like a type of our own journey, the same sort of type that we get in the Adam and Eve story. First, Moses sees the wonder of God's creation. He is able to be in the presence of God for a while, but then that presence was withdrawn. While he was not left completely alone (v. 15 said that God's Spirit had not completely withdrawn), he was left to learn by his own experience to distinguish between light and truth and the evil one - and to act upon the light and truth. It took repetition, consistency, trust in doctrine, discernment, faith in Christ, obedience to commandments, and consistent prayer and spiritual effort to overcome the temptations of the devil. Each time as he leaned on the Lord, he received the strength -- even successively more strength, I think -- to come off the victor. As he was able to finally get Satan to leave his presence, he was blessed to behold the glory of God again, he was chosen to do God's work (to be a deliverer, one of my favorite types of Christ), and was given what seems similar to the sealing power (v. 25).
Elder McConkie once said that
First of all, I love love love the way Moses comes to know who he really is, and how he discerns between the light, love, purity, power, and goodness of God in contrast with the darkness, hate, counterfeit everything, puniness, and evil of the devil.
But Moses still has to work really hard to not succumb to the fear and bitterness that the devil brought into his experience.
And it felt as I pondered the story that there was a progression of how Moses responded, perhaps a mini creation-fall-atonement sort of story...with accompanying insights into how to overcome the influence of the devil (the fall) and progress spiritually.
First, he says, "I can judge between thee and God." I love that. He uses doctrine ("God said unto me: Thou art after the similitude of mine Only Begotten") to stand up to the temptation.
I love, too, how Moses is anxious to get more revelation. He says, "I will not cease to call upon God, I have other things to inquire of him."
Twice he tells Satan to get/depart hence.
But then Satan seems to step it up a notch. Not seems, he does. He rants ("upon the earth" - hm, interesting phrase) and pretends to be Christ. (Makes my skin crawl just writing that.)
And Moses feels great fear, which causes him to see the "bitterness of hell."
It's a good thing that Moses had decided not to cease calling upon God, because it was only that that allowed him to have strength to, again, tell Satan to depart. He overcame the power of fear and had faith strengthened.
But the devil was not about to give up. He trembled, and the earth shook (again, interesting that the text talks about the impact on the earth, not just on Moses). This time, Moses received strength first (hm...) and then, "in the name of the Only Begotten" told Satan to depart.
It feels to me as though, over the course of this interaction, Moses gains more confidence and strength, to the point where he is able, through the power of the Christ and His Atonement -- using the name of Jesus Christ, even -- to overcome the adversary, and come again to a point where he could behold and enjoy the glory, presence, light, and blessings of God.
To me, this story feels a bit like a type of our own journey, the same sort of type that we get in the Adam and Eve story. First, Moses sees the wonder of God's creation. He is able to be in the presence of God for a while, but then that presence was withdrawn. While he was not left completely alone (v. 15 said that God's Spirit had not completely withdrawn), he was left to learn by his own experience to distinguish between light and truth and the evil one - and to act upon the light and truth. It took repetition, consistency, trust in doctrine, discernment, faith in Christ, obedience to commandments, and consistent prayer and spiritual effort to overcome the temptations of the devil. Each time as he leaned on the Lord, he received the strength -- even successively more strength, I think -- to come off the victor. As he was able to finally get Satan to leave his presence, he was blessed to behold the glory of God again, he was chosen to do God's work (to be a deliverer, one of my favorite types of Christ), and was given what seems similar to the sealing power (v. 25).
Elder McConkie once said that
God himself, the Father of us all, established a plan of salvation whereby his spirit children might progress and become like him. It is the gospel of God, the plan of Eternal Elohim, the system that saves and exalts, and it consists of three things. These three are the very pillars of eternity itself. They are the Creation, the Fall, and the Atonement.I see all three pillars in this wonderful chapter, Moses 1. And in it I see much wisdom in how we can overcome temptation, learn through faith and obedience to discern light from darkness, receive spiritual strength to face temptation, and come to know more and more about God, the creation, the atonement, and the purposes of life.
Monday, December 28, 2009
What does it mean to be feminine?
A new YW Personal Progress Program will be coming out soon. The new books will be pink. The color choice is very deliberate. Sister Dalton explains:
Even though I think sometimes it's hard to talk about what femininity is (language is limited, or at least can be (very) charged, as seen sometimes when the topic of femininity is discussed and frustration is expressed about some teachings on the subject). And yet, femininity is valued and talked about by our leaders. (Sis. Dalton definitely isn't the first one to address this subject of femininity. See, for example, here, here, here, and here.)
FWIW, I grew up a tomboy (e.g., only girl in shop class, twice (sooo fun!); very active in sports growing up (including only girl playing basketball with the boys for recess way back when); had hobbies that were more masculine, like doing models; etc.). I studied a field that had an 80/20 ratio of men to women in the classroom, and ratios more on the male side professionally as well. I'm more naturally suited to a board room than a kitchen or nursery or Primary class. I am not instinctively a huge fan of pink (my baby blankie was blue...maybe that has something to do with it - hehe), and I don't particularly care for frills and trendy or girly stuff. And sometimes I can have a hard time processing what "feminine" should mean for me.
But I have found value in pondering how I might be able to be more feminine. I feel I can embrace that concept while still embracing my personality and interests. I don't know that I will ever be a "typical" female in some ways (whatever we think that may mean), but I do believe that there is power in rejoicing in the concept of femininity -- whatever God may guide each of us to discern what that means for us individually, magnifying unique gifts, talents, and strengths, not necessarily taking away from them.
I think sometimes these kinds of ideas (such as what it means to be feminine) are rejected outright because they either feel too vague, or because they may feel like cookie-cutters to some -- that somehow it's all about molds and stereotypes and expectations that we can't or don't fulfill. I think, rather, we can think of them as guideposts to carefully consider and prayerfully apply, as guided through the Spirit. Something may not seem to "fit" at first, but I think time and patience can sometimes show that even principles that didn't click initially can yield impiortant fruit.
As I think about it, I think the new youth theme ("Be strong and of a good courage") and the concept of femininity can actually go hand in hand. I say this because I believe there is power in womanhood. I've been pondering this concept for years, and although I can't fully articulate it all, I can say that I have felt very strongly the reality that women bring something unique and important to the plan of God -- both collectively and individually. And I think the more we can seek guidance in how to be more "feminine" the better instruments in God's hands we women can be.
So, as I ponder the word "soft," I think of things like the following:
Soft can be a soft answer (Prov 15:1) and soft words (Job 41:3) or a 'soft tongue' (Prov 25:15). (The Spirit's voice is sometimes described as soft, such as here or here.)
It can include a soft heart. (e.g., Job 23:16)
Or "lead[ing] on softly" (Gen. 33:14).
Or being a soft place for others to fall.
It could tie into being soft-spoken (hard for someone as opinionated and vocal as I can be).
I think it also has something to do with being (or seeking to be) nurturers. Think of the "soft" sciences, for example -- they have to do more with people and relationships. (I'm NOT saying that those fields are the only ones women should pursue -- I'm just mulling over the word "soft" and how it is sometimes used.)
More thoughts, anyone?
We are excited about the color of pink, because we think these young women are pink. They resonate to the softness and the femininity of that color. We want them to understand that they are soft, they are unique, they are feminine and that they don't have to be like the boys, to focus on femininity, on the softness of young women.That word "soft" is bugging some people. And yet, I think there is meaning we can get from mulling over it a bit. Here are some of my thoughts.
Even though I think sometimes it's hard to talk about what femininity is (language is limited, or at least can be (very) charged, as seen sometimes when the topic of femininity is discussed and frustration is expressed about some teachings on the subject). And yet, femininity is valued and talked about by our leaders. (Sis. Dalton definitely isn't the first one to address this subject of femininity. See, for example, here, here, here, and here.)
FWIW, I grew up a tomboy (e.g., only girl in shop class, twice (sooo fun!); very active in sports growing up (including only girl playing basketball with the boys for recess way back when); had hobbies that were more masculine, like doing models; etc.). I studied a field that had an 80/20 ratio of men to women in the classroom, and ratios more on the male side professionally as well. I'm more naturally suited to a board room than a kitchen or nursery or Primary class. I am not instinctively a huge fan of pink (my baby blankie was blue...maybe that has something to do with it - hehe), and I don't particularly care for frills and trendy or girly stuff. And sometimes I can have a hard time processing what "feminine" should mean for me.
But I have found value in pondering how I might be able to be more feminine. I feel I can embrace that concept while still embracing my personality and interests. I don't know that I will ever be a "typical" female in some ways (whatever we think that may mean), but I do believe that there is power in rejoicing in the concept of femininity -- whatever God may guide each of us to discern what that means for us individually, magnifying unique gifts, talents, and strengths, not necessarily taking away from them.
I think sometimes these kinds of ideas (such as what it means to be feminine) are rejected outright because they either feel too vague, or because they may feel like cookie-cutters to some -- that somehow it's all about molds and stereotypes and expectations that we can't or don't fulfill. I think, rather, we can think of them as guideposts to carefully consider and prayerfully apply, as guided through the Spirit. Something may not seem to "fit" at first, but I think time and patience can sometimes show that even principles that didn't click initially can yield impiortant fruit.
As I think about it, I think the new youth theme ("Be strong and of a good courage") and the concept of femininity can actually go hand in hand. I say this because I believe there is power in womanhood. I've been pondering this concept for years, and although I can't fully articulate it all, I can say that I have felt very strongly the reality that women bring something unique and important to the plan of God -- both collectively and individually. And I think the more we can seek guidance in how to be more "feminine" the better instruments in God's hands we women can be.
So, as I ponder the word "soft," I think of things like the following:
Soft can be a soft answer (Prov 15:1) and soft words (Job 41:3) or a 'soft tongue' (Prov 25:15). (The Spirit's voice is sometimes described as soft, such as here or here.)
It can include a soft heart. (e.g., Job 23:16)
Or "lead[ing] on softly" (Gen. 33:14).
Or being a soft place for others to fall.
It could tie into being soft-spoken (hard for someone as opinionated and vocal as I can be).
I think it also has something to do with being (or seeking to be) nurturers. Think of the "soft" sciences, for example -- they have to do more with people and relationships. (I'm NOT saying that those fields are the only ones women should pursue -- I'm just mulling over the word "soft" and how it is sometimes used.)
More thoughts, anyone?
Friday, December 25, 2009
An Unexpected Christmas Gift
As I wrapped presents and set them under the tree on Christmas Eve, I had the thought to keep some of the presents hidden away. I debated within myself, but finally decided I would. We wouldn't have a lot of time to open presents in the morning anyway, since we had to get up and get on our way to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Yes, that would work -- we'd spread our own little family's Christmas out a little -- after all, we've never been the rush-through-the-present-opening types. (I use Christmas as a time to give our children things they need -- I hold onto clothes and supplies and other practical things during the year and wrap them all up for the fun of it at Christmas.)
The children enjoyed having some unexpected gifts to open when we got home. But I enjoyed being able to enjoy the gift-opening. That little thought to hold off on some of the presents was a very unexpected little blessing for me.
You see, I have a sleep disorder, and I had taken some of my sleep meds to catch a couple more hours of sleep before leaving for my parents' home this morning. Before I went back to sleep, though, I spent precious time with my family while the children opened what was under the tree.
But I don't remember most of it.
You see, a side effect of the drug I take is the possibility of amnesia-like memory loss while the drug is active. It must have been a combination of the amount I had taken during the night in combination with the timing of the gift-giving (after the drug had already started to take effect), but it pretty much wiped out most of my memory of what happened this morning. (Yeah, I am still freaking out a little about it, actually. It's an awful feeling not to be able to pull the memories out of my head.)
And I am really sad.
Pres. Packer said this:
I love that part of Christmas, but I didn't get that gift this morning.
But because of that little thought to tuck away some presents, I got the gift tonight.
Who knows if that is the reason I had that thought last night to tuck away a few presents, but I'm grateful for the little tender mercy that it was to enjoy a few moments with my children - and to remember them!
As a p.s., I recommend that entire article by Pres. Packer. I hope to write more of my thoughts on it later.
The children enjoyed having some unexpected gifts to open when we got home. But I enjoyed being able to enjoy the gift-opening. That little thought to hold off on some of the presents was a very unexpected little blessing for me.
You see, I have a sleep disorder, and I had taken some of my sleep meds to catch a couple more hours of sleep before leaving for my parents' home this morning. Before I went back to sleep, though, I spent precious time with my family while the children opened what was under the tree.
But I don't remember most of it.
You see, a side effect of the drug I take is the possibility of amnesia-like memory loss while the drug is active. It must have been a combination of the amount I had taken during the night in combination with the timing of the gift-giving (after the drug had already started to take effect), but it pretty much wiped out most of my memory of what happened this morning. (Yeah, I am still freaking out a little about it, actually. It's an awful feeling not to be able to pull the memories out of my head.)
And I am really sad.
Pres. Packer said this:
I know of few things on this earth quite so celestial as the face of a little youngster, happy, hopeful, and believing, with Christmas almost here. That is the gift that children give to parents at Christmastime.
I love that part of Christmas, but I didn't get that gift this morning.
But because of that little thought to tuck away some presents, I got the gift tonight.
Who knows if that is the reason I had that thought last night to tuck away a few presents, but I'm grateful for the little tender mercy that it was to enjoy a few moments with my children - and to remember them!
As a p.s., I recommend that entire article by Pres. Packer. I hope to write more of my thoughts on it later.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Shawna Belt Edwards' "Do You Have Room?" video
Merry Christmas!
For sheet music or a free MP3, see here.
If you have a minute, read through some of the emails Shawna received this month after sharing her song and inviting people to share how they make room for the Savior.
For sheet music or a free MP3, see here.
If you have a minute, read through some of the emails Shawna received this month after sharing her song and inviting people to share how they make room for the Savior.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Do You Have Room for the Savior?
A friend of mine wrote this beautiful song. The video is no longer available, but you can listen to the song, find information about how to download a free MP3, and get free sheet music on Shawna Belt Edwards' home page here.
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