I just added a bunch of friends, all of whom I have met through blogging. For all that I have a love/hate relationship with blogging (sometimes I have let it suck too much of my time and focus), it has really changed my life in so many wonderful ways. And one of the greatest impacts it has had has been allowing me to connect with some Really. Amazing. Women.
I am down to less than two weeks until school starts and I am feeling so sad. My list of all the wonderful things we were going to do (no, really, THIS summer we were gonna tackle them) seems so terribly un-checked-off.
My mind goes back to Young Women's days, when I was tortured by the goals I set and never accomplished as I would have liked to, when my leaders had to finally help me see that I was already accomplishing much in my life. That just because my life and my lists didn't match up perfectly didn't mean I was a big failure.
Sometimes I wish I had a leader to sit me down and tell me that same thing now. Sometimes it makes me want to get rid of the lists.
We did make it to the library this week, though.
But then I think -- why does the list need to involve GOING somewhere in order to be legitimate? Sometimes I wonder if there is an unwritten something that makes us all think that motherhood is about doing stuff that is tangible and list-able. Maybe sometimes (more often than not?) it's not. So much of it is just about being here, isn't it?
And that's some of what is interesting, too, about summer. I feel more than ever during these weeks and months that a key part of my role is just to be here. To facilitate the flow of life. To help, to answer questions, to keep tabs on who is where (and, on good days, on who needs to do what -- I shouldn't tell you how many times we have forgotten Webelos. Sigh), to call out "Who's dat?" whenever I hear the door open, to smile and hand out snacks when friends come....
It's no wonder some of those to-dos don't get done, because there are so few actual stretches of uninterrupted time!
(I am going to cut myself some slack, too, because I feel yucky most of the time. These last few months have been HARD. Migraines stink.)
Hubby is busy busy busy. We look forward to things maybe calming down here in a week or two. Or not. Does it ever really calm down?
Hm. Better go for not.
I haven't even written about how I have not attended my ward this year (or I wrote and forgot). (Health issues and early (EARLY!) schedule didn't work together.) With the ward boundary changes that happened, I have actually attend this other ward for longer than I was with my own ward.
I get to give a talk next week on the temple. I look forward to it.