How I have talked with my children about pornography -- and some of my favorite resources for parents

I recently wrote a post at the Women for Decency blog about how I have talked with -- and continue to talk with -- my children about pornography.

I just wanted to add a few points.

- I do not believe the primary focus in protecting and preparing children against pornography is good sex ed. YES, children need to hear and learn about sex, and they need to hear it from their parents, and that needs to be an ongoing conversation throughout the years that they are in our homes. BUT, pornography is a drug. It's soooo much easier to help kids understand the harms of porn by simply helping them understand that it can hurt their brains and bodies like drugs, alcohol, and smoking can. Telling young children that all they need to do is look forward to healthy sex someday (assuming they will get married, and some won't, especially some of our girls) will not help them say no to porn NOW. Help them say no! Help them know that they can talk to you about anything. (See the great links on the post for more resources that I think are so helpful.)

- It can be really easy to feel overwhelmed in today's world of over-sexualized everything. I think we can easily feel overwhelmed when we see the impact of pornography and the sexualization of our culture all around us. If you don't know someone personally affected by porn, you will, because they are all around you. It's hard to find good entertainment, etc. We know and see that. But parents, please don't doubt the power you have. If we all unite in believing in the impact our nurturing and teaching can do for the next generation, we can turn the tide on this thing by raising a generation who gets it. As we teach them, it can help us 'get it' even better, too.

How I taught my kids about pornography addiction

Some of the resources that I have found helpful:

• Fight the New Drug
• Jeffrey Ford’s videos for parents (Here you can find topics such as how to talk to your children about hard things, and 5 C’s for parents, which teach you how to respond if your children have been exposed to pornography.)
• Don Hilton’s work on the brain science of pornography addiction
• Beauty Redefined (This site helped me understand the concept of media literacy.)
• Raising a Pure Son in a Sex-crazed world (This is one mom’s perspective with a list of ideas.)
• Anne Marie Miller: Three Things You Don’t Know About Your Children and Sex (This is a blog from a woman who was addicted in her teenage year.s)